


The Avengers get it on

by JoyisaBike



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Drabbles, F/F, I'm really posting this aren't I?, Loki - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Other, Smut, So much smut, Trans Characters, VERY Short Stories, avengers having sex, nobody is straight, pretty fluffy, this is embarrassing, various pairings - Freeform, written while sleep deprived
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 17:44:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11318448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoyisaBike/pseuds/JoyisaBike
Summary: Very short, mostly unrelated one shots of various avengers characters having sex. There is no plot here, this is just little smut ficlets (smutlets?) that I wrote last weekend and decided to post here. Steve likes lipstick, Darcy likes Sif, Jane and Thor have a lot in common, and Pepper is hot.





	1. Spoiling Steve

**Author's Note:**

> So, yeeeah. This is embarrassing but I'm going for it! Let me know if I've missed any tags, and I hope you enjoy! This is marked complete, but may be updated as and when I am in the mood. Worth noting that I've not watched any of the flims beyond CA:TWS so there are characters I've not met. Feel free to let me know if there are characters you think I'm not giving enough love, but please keep in mind I am super busy and may never get to your suggestion.  
> Originally written as a gift for a friend, you know who you are you lovely thing :)

Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America, was currently lying on the floor grinning like a blissed out imbecile. He had lipstick smeared all over his face and lovely stockings on, and Natasha was sitting across his chest cooing and telling him how pretty he was while Bucky watched and Sam lay exhausted and naked on the floor next to him and played with Steve’s hair. It had been a fantastic night all round.


	2. That Midgardian Contraption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy, Sif, phallic objects.

Darcy looked at Sif. Sif looked at Darcy. Darcy grinned, and held up the definitely phallic contraption for Sif’s inspection. Sif raised an eyebrow and smirked: “by all means, Lady Darcy, please educate me in how this Midgardian apparatus works.”  
“Absolutely, yes I will do that even though you are intimidatingly hot am I dreaming?”  
“Come to bed and find out” suggested Sif. Darcy complied.


	3. Relations in a Caravan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Jane discover some things

“Hi” said Jane  
“Hi” said Thor, smiling in that way of his that was like the sun coming out. They were standing in the tiny confines of her caravan, and Jane was suddenly shy. It was just, she had no idea what Asgardian gender roles were like. Or what Thor would think. Or if he was even going to have… equipment that she would recognise. Damn! This was awkward.  
“Are you well, Lady Jane? Should I leave? I do not want to presume. I would be happy to simply have conversation.”  
“NO. No I mean, I don’t want you to. It’s just, um, you’re an alien prince and I’m, ummm, I’m. Iwasborninthewrongbodyandtheoperationisn’tfinishedyet.”  
“Oh!” says Thor, “Me too!”

And they had a lot of sex and it was delicious.


	4. Clint is a little shit

Clint let himself into Phil’s office, and hid under the desk. He waited. Ten minutes later Phil entered the room, sighed, and sat at his desk. Clint grinned. He waited until Phil was settled, and he had heard the coffee being put down. Then he edged forward and cheerfully shoved his face into Phil’s crotch.  
“Barton what are you doing?” hissed Phil, almost sounding surprised. Clint grinned, and undid his zip


	5. Tony is a very lucky guy

Bruce liked to watch. Tony had been absolutely delighted to discover this. Bruce didn’t really like touching, if the touching was sexual, but he liked watching and he liked Tony and Pepper liked Bruce and Tony liked being watched and Bruce was almost as in awe of Pepper as Tony was and Tony really liked Bruce and Pepper teaming up on him. Tony wasn’t sure how he’d gotten this lucky, but as Pepper used her Super Sexy Fire Strength Powers to pin him down one handed and kiss all the breath out of him while Bruce watched from the carefully placed armchair, Tony decided he was going to enjoy it as long as it lasted. He wriggled and wriggled and could not get out from under Pepper’s hand and it was delightful.


	6. Maria goes to a bar

Maria Hill met Darcy Lewis in a bar. It just happened, and she had gone along with it. And Darcy was charming, and gorgeous in a zaftig way, and (she suspected) a lot more intelligent than she let on. Maria Hill found herself smiling. And buying her a drink. And talking about music and cat videos. And inviting her home, where Darcy smiled at everything and kissed her and Maria kissed back. And then there was a lot of groping and hands and legs and mouths and clothes on the floor and Maria maybe got a bit overenthusiastic and actually threw Darcy on the bed, but Darcy just laughed and told her to get over here. Which Maria did. Darcy, it turned out, was noisy while receiving head. Maria enjoyed this.   
They had sex five times, and again in the morning.


	7. Courtship rituals of Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier

Bucky buys Steve presents. Little things: lipstick, nailpolish, hairgrips with flowers on. Things Steve’s still too shy to buy for himself. The Winter Soldier, who is a semi-separate entity, also gets Steve presents. They’re usually shoes. Steve does not know at what point the Winter Soldier developed such good taste in shoes, but they’re always exactly the right size and completely gorgeous and Steve has made a deal with himself to never google how much money they might have costed.  
Bucky likes kissing Steve until he’s pink and gasping for air, murmuring compliments and rubbing Steve through his clothes until he thinks he’s going to explode. Winter much prefers to wrap his arms around Steve, lift him off the floor and kidnap him away to his newest hiding place for blowjobs. Sometimes, the two of them work together, switching in and out of control until Steve is dizzy.

When Steve notices Sam wearing tasteful new shoes, he just kisses his ear and says nothing. It’s nice to know that Winter likes people other than him.


	8. Ruling the world is a lonely place

Loki’s not jealous of his brother. Absolutely not. Not at all. And he definitely isn’t into Jane, she’s not his type. He’s just a bit lonely, pretending to be Odin. And Thor is so stupidly happy, with his stupid happy face, and Loki is busy trying to run a kingdom that the previous ruler of (ODIN) had fucked up and clones are just not the same as having someone right there next to you.  
She stands in front of the mirror, enjoying her new body, the curves and the way it moves. Yes, this is comfortable. She likes how she looks, and it fits how she feels today. She’s going to have to go and pretend to be Odin soon (which feels wrong for many reasons), but for now she stalks around her chambers, enjoying how her weight falls and her hair swishes and wondering if anyone would recognise her like this, or if she could pretend to be part of the delegation from Alfheim and get into someone’s bed. Perhaps, she thinks, perhaps…


	9. Darcy is the fandom bicycle...?

Okay, so Darcy’s not a slut. She’s a grown ass bitch in charge of her own sexuality. She’s also aromantic, but that’s neither here nor there. She likes sex, she likes powerful people, and Nick Fury is HAWT okay?  
She has no idea how she’s managed to score that, but he’s in her bed, naked and still intimidating, and she can’t find the damn condoms.  
“Thor’s golden abs, where are the damn condoms?”  
“There are some in my coat pocket," he says.  
“Thank fuck” muttered Darcy, turning around to kiss him soundly. He’s a fantastic kisser, and there’s some wiggling around as they get the condom sorted and then Darcy climbs on top of him and Oooooh yes he is just as yummy as she thought.  
She doesn’t say that out loud though.


	10. Jane loves Asgardian healers

Sex with Thor is always mind-blowing. Sex with Thor in her new, fully-functioning female body courtesy of Asgardian healers is actually way more wonderful than Jane could imagine. She ends up crying the first time, and thankfully Thor understands and holds onto her until she feels less full of feelings. The second time, they break the bed and Thor swears loudly and Jane grins and gets her head between his legs and licks him until he is dripping and then he returns the favour and they only stop when Clint picks the lock on their door and yells at them to be quiet, fuckssake, people are trying to sleep and I’m deaf and I can hear you.

Tony invents new methods of soundproofing.


	11. Natasha Romanoff is probably the best

Natasha. Just Natasha. Just picture her pure arse-kicking glory and feel your pants burst into flame and give up. She’s that damn awesome.

Also, sometimes her and Pepper go for lunch dates and talk about their favourite ropes for tying people up with, and how to manage functional poly relationships, and whether or not Darcy actually went on a date with Maria. Very occasionally, these lunches end up with them in Pepper’s penthouse, giggling drunkenly and kissing. It never goes beyond kissing with the two of them, but the kissing is great.


	12. Stuck in a tree

Tony and Rhodey, stuck up a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Okay, so technically, it's not a tree, it’s the Avengers tower penthouse. And they’re not precisely stuck, they just decided not to come down. And kissing is… Okay, kissing is a mild word. There’s groping involved, and Rhodey is grinning out the side of his mouth in that way that means he’s going to say it was a bad idea, but he’s totally into it and Tony is completely useless because he’s missed Rhodey so damn much and video chat is not the same.   
He's just really glad that they both managed to actually get out of their respective armours first. Not that that hasn't happened, it just involved a lot bruises and swearing and really, Tony prefers to be able to actually touch his boyfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> that's it for now - going to properly tag and do some clean up later as I sadly have to go back to work now. Constructive criticism welcome!


End file.
